Very Ape
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: Another post S3 finale, as you're about to see, though not an engagement fic. Title comes from Nirvana's Very Ape."She knew that he was apprehensive of exactly what Serena was hoping for. Hurricane Blair would blow his little French stick into splinters."


**A/N**: Very short one shot that is Serena's POV. WARNING: This is a one-shot and I will not be continuing it. That will make more sense when you read it. I was listening to the show Very Ape by Nirvana, and this scene just came to mind. I really wanted to get this out but I'm not sure how it came out at all. I liked the idea but I'm too biased to judge.

**Summary**: She knew that he was apprehensive of exactly what Serena was hoping for. Hurricane Blair would blow his little French stick into splinters.

**Disclaimer**: Lyrics belong to "Very Ape" by Nirvana. Characters belong to those who created them, aka, not me.

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From the beginning of the tortuous affair, Serena never understood how her best friend was so calm. Her best friend who had tackled her on a field hockey field, threw a clutch at her head, and told the entire panel if Ivy League colleges that she had a drug problem. Blair Waldorf did not do rational and she did not do calm. Especially when it came to the equally as irrational man, Chuck Bass.

At least, the Chuck Bass that used to exist.

Serena found herself standing next to this "new and improved" excuse for a man with his equally new French girlfriend with her stilted accent, and she finally understood it. She understood how people weren't rational all the time. Because right now, she wished that she were as athletic (evidently) as Dan because she sort of wanted to punch Chuck in the face right now as well.

She had the same urge ever since they happened across each other in Paris. With Parisian Eva. And Serena hated it from the beginning. But strangely, Blair had not seemed to share the sentiment. For the first time in her life. And it was finally getting to Serena.

But tonight was the night. Tonight was the night and she could tell because Chuck was gripping his cane convulsively. Serena wished he would just heal all ready. Sometimes she would speak to Blair about Chuck and the tentative brunette would get this look in her eyes. Serena didn't want her best friend to be weakened by Cripple Chuck. Serena wanted Blair to hate the situation. She wanted her to be the strong bitch who could lower a man with just one withering look. Because she knew no matter what had happened, this wasn't the way things were supposed to be.

Blair didn't seem to hate Chuck or even the girl that he seemed to never be without, even though they had never met before. But tonight was the night. Tonight Blair would see her rival and Serena wanted this to be the climax of the terrible soap opera that Chuck was attempting to orchestrate.

She knew that he was apprehensive of exactly what Serena was hoping for. Hurricane Blair would blow his little French stick into splinters. Blair could eat that chick for breakfast and none would be the wiser.

Serena watched as Chuck's sweaty hand slid up the staff of his cane.

"Something wrong, _Charles_?" Serena asked sharply.

It was all anyone ever called him in front of Eva. They had seen it all. They were there first. They knew Chuck better than anyone. She could never compare. Eva put a comforting hand on Chuck's shoulder. Serena knew she had no idea what was going on.

"What do you think you're doing, Serena?" he asked in a raspy whisper. Serena really did want to understand what he was doing. She saw his frail exterior and she knew that Eva was there for that reason. If they had still been together, Blair would have broken her back to help him. But they weren't. And nothing was sure anymore. No one knew what she would do.

But Serena knew she would destroy that girl. That was the sure thing.

"I want my brother back," Serena said. "And as you're about so see, I'm not the only one."

"I _am _here," Chuck said desperately. Serena felt cold cruelty in her heart and she could now understand how Blair's heartbreak could result in calling her a whore before Bart Bass's brunch.

"Is something wrong?" Eva asked in her cautious English. She had obviously heard the exchange but was even more obviously oblivious to its contents.

Blair would laugh in her face.

In the middle of the raucous party of the Upper East Side, Serena could swear that she could hear the black heels of imminent doom.

Slim legs came up the staircase wrapped in a black Waldorf Original dress and Serena knew that her best friend looked good. She didn't have to look to the man who inhibited her brother's body to see he was staring. She could feel it.

And she was sure Blair could too.

_I am buried up to my neck in_

_Condtradictionary flies_

_I take pride as the king of illiterature_

_I'm very ape and very nice_

Blair's dark hair curled around her perfect shoulders as she made it to the landing. Chuck's knuckles were white around his cane.

"Is that her?" Eva asked tentatively. Blair was now looking cockily in their direction and Serena felt relief overcome her. Finally someone who was worthy enough to put Chuck and his so called girlfriend in their place.

But she didn't move. She was approached by her mother's investors and the like and her light, carefree peal of laughter was apparent over the noise. Serena did look over this time too see Chuck's brow furrowed. Something so familiar lurked behind his dark eyes and Serena wished Blair would disentangle herself from Upper East Side society to finish the job that even Nate wanted to accomplish.

They all missed Chuck Bass.

"Yes," Chuck said lowly in his throat. "That's Blair."

Serena knew he had well versed Eva in the personality that was Blair Waldorf. That much was clear by the girl's uncomfortable stance. But Chuck had obviously not told her everything.

"She's..."

"She's beautiful," Eva commented in something that sounded like admiration.

He had obviously only told her the more tempestuous aspects of her personality.

"Of course she is," Serena scoffed. She didn't know anyone who was more beautiful than her best friend. And as though she were channeling Blair herself, Serena turned. "You don't really think Chuck would get shot for who wasn't as perfect as Blair."

"Serena," Chuck said sharply. "Stop."

This was obviously news to Eva even though she seemed to surprised to mention it, especially since she had never heard The Real Chuck Bass's sharp tone. The one that used to be so common and that everyone on The Upper East Side had heard. The very fragile ground that Chuck had attempted to mount his even more fragile relationship on was very much crumbling.

"What?" Serena asked. "It's true."

Eva looked awkward, combing her fingers through her fair hair. Serena felt a prickling sensation when she looked back and found Blair's cool eyes towards them. The side of her mouth quirked into a strange smile that Serena had yet to understand. Like she had won.

It was something that she didn't understand until Dan Humphrey appeared behind her. Blair felt his hands on her waist and she turned with a look that didn't match the disgust that Serena was so used to seeing. That he was so presumptuous to even _try_... And she was smiling at him.

Their lips met in a kiss that was neither chaste nor appropriate for the venue they were in.

Serena heard Chuck's cane clatter to the floor. He put a strong foot forward, towards the very public display of affection between Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey.

_Well played, Waldorf._

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a.n. I usually don't require people to listen to the song while reading the fic, but in my mind, the song starts when Blair starts walking up the steps. The lyrics are from that part and it really sets the mood for what's going on.


End file.
